Friday, April 6, 2007
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FAQ
Are you a man or a woman?
How boring! I am, in fact, The WonDrous Mandarin Speaking Ambidextrous Bisexual Hermaphrodite with Wings.
Or, if you prefer, think of me as a Chimera, since I just successfully passed this other test. The wings are still there, so...
| You Are a Chimera |
 |
Where do you live?
I'm an American living in France -- for most of the year, anyway.
What's your connection with Romania?
I was born there.
Are you still a Romanian citizen?
Technically, yes. Since nobody asked me to, I haven't gone through the special procedure that would annul my Romanian citizenship.
Are you also a French citizen?
No, and I will never become one. I love the United States, rah, rah! (Not a joke!).
In France, I love the food , the wine, some of the people, their polished and refined ways, their passion for bicycles, but nothing "clicks" on a deep level, although I was raised a "francophone" and I am very familiar with their culture.
If ever the United States and Romania became enemies in a war, on which side would you fight?
Doh!
No, really!
The United States'. And I would spy for them, too.
"Dar Romania te-a facut om!"
Incerc sa ajut, dar Romania m-a pierdut demult cu nesimtirea si lipsa de civilizatie a multora. Inca imi este dificil sa relationez cu romani, in Romania sau pe Internet. Nu pot sa accept nici ce s-a intamplat cu limbajul strazii, fenomenul manelelor, al vedetismului facil de televiziune, al incompetentei politice, al furtului generalizat, al coruptiei acceptate prea usor la orice nivel, si multe altele.
OK, never mind all that, how about when Romania and the US confront in sports events?
Yes, I've had moments when I wanted Romanian teams to win. I guess I still care. It's either that, or it's the "rooting for the underdog" phenomenon.
Are you nuts? Why do you talk about Oscars and shit?
No, I am not deranged. I am a contented bourgeois type, who has screenwriting as a hobby and has even gone to film school. I tried a few gigs as a producer for other people's work and I've worked in the "business" in other small time capacities, but I didn't enjoy it, I felt like a hack. I need to really believe in what I have on my hands and I still regard movies as an ART (while hating arthouse movies.)
One of my brothers is into "Texas Hold'em", another into "The World of Warcraft", I read about and write scripts, so "Writing Masterpieces" is the name of my game. My brothers insist that this is no fun. But I just won a "Texas Hold'em" family tournament in LA, so I got a little slack from that side, and being an addictive personality, there's no way I'm gonna even touch "The World of Warcraft".
As to my Oscar talk: I'm entitled to any number of self-deprecating remarks and second degree humour, so don't rush to diagnose here. Or, do your thing, it's a free country. Mine is, I hope you're not reading this from 中国 or some other less fortunate place.
Will you read my script?
If you're my friend, yes. If you're not but you'd like to, then befriend me. Or consider people who can read your script and provide you professional feedback and notes for a very reasonable sum, like Scott the Reader, for instance.
Daca sunteti din Romania: va rog sa intelegeti si ca m-am desprins de prea multa vreme de acolo si nu am acces la multe elemente care ar face feedback-ul meu pretios. Gandesc ca un american filmul si nu pricep jumatate din referintele culturale specifice Romaniei. Un prieten a castigat concursul HBO din Ro cu un scurt metraj din care eu, personal, n-am inteles mare lucru, deci... Graunte mare de sare!
I am your (virtual) friend, I wrote this script, will you help me market it/find me an agent/get involved in producing it?
If it's the kind of stuff that has me ENTHUSIASTIC about it and feeling that you just wrote a masterpiece, then yes, I'd consider dropping everything and I'd spare no effort to help you sell it. But my critical eye is very harsh, my own projects take up a lot of my time, and I'm not looking to turn a quick buck on anyone's less than brilliant endeavors. So it's either "Shock & Awe", or nothing. I apply the same filters as for my own stuff.
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